The Promise of Spring
by ym4yum1
Summary: "A Russian woman is always ruled by her heart. Even one who hides her heart beneath a sheath of ice." (Marvel "The Coldest War") After the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014). What happened with Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff, after the final scene at the cemetery? SPOILERS. Alternative ending. Romanogers!
1. The Running Man

**Disclaimers**: All rights to Marvel. Characters, lines & context from Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), Animation, TV series, Cartoons & Comics.

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**The Promise of Spring**

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_"You are a cold woman, Natalia…"_

_"You think so, Alexi __Shostakov_? Why did you marry me, then?"

_"For the same reason every true Russian loves the winter, Natalia Romanova Shostakova. For the Promise of Spring. Like a winter snow, your ballerina's frost seems to shelter a secret earthiness waiting for a thaw. Yet in all the time I've known you, I've barely glimpsed the fire beneath your ice. A man could freeze to death hoping to warm himself on your heart, Natasha."_

(1990 Marvel Graphic Novel Vol 1 #61 "_The Coldest War_")

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**The Running Man**

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When reality finally hit him, Sam Wilson was left dumbfounded. It was hard to believe how the world had changed around him in a matter of days. From a retired military paratrooper who helped veterans, he had become nothing less than Captain America's partner. The bond he established with the living legend was unbelievable. It turned out that the real Steve Rogers was so much more impressive than any stories about him and, still, the most noble and humble man Sam had ever met in his whole life. With the super Russian spy Black Widow, they had defeated the legendary criminal organization HYDRA, which had infiltrated inside S.H.I.E.L.D. – the U.S. counterterrorism and intelligence agency. If this hadn't been astounding enough, now standing in front of his fake grave, Nick Fury, its former director, was inviting them to hunt the remaining bad guys in Europe.

It was beyond surreal. But as Sam had declared before, his loyalty was with the Captain.

The three men shook hands, and Fury said with his farewell, "If anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me right here."

Then, a familiar feminine voice called their attention. "You should be honored. This is as close as he gets to saying thank you."

Steve moved instantly and, like when they first met, Sam was left behind. Amused, the Falcon observed how the soldier always seemed slightly possessive, walking towards Natasha Romanoff almost as if he wanted to keep her to himself.

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A gentle spring breeze blew the leaves and branches of leafy trees around them, but it was as if all sound and movement had ceased – since they first met, Steve had eyes only for Natasha. But, as he had been doing for the past two years, he kept his emotions in absolute control.

Walking to meet her halfway, he asked calmly, "Not going with him?"

She raised an eyebrow with a little smile, "No."

Despite the softness on her face, there was a sense of detachment between them and he almost couldn't hide his disappointment. "Not staying here either."

Beneath her smiling eyes, she looked almost ashamed, "No."

From watching her closely before, he knew that there was definitely something different about her, a touch of uneasiness mixed with her usual confidence.

"I blew all my covers. I gotta figure a new one."

Instinctively, his irrational need to protect her got stronger than the logical conviction that she could defend herself from almost any threat. Frowning, he sounded quite impassively, "It might take a while." A strange feeling ran through his body – he was concerned about her safety, as always, but also troubled about how much time it would take to see her again.

Different people in so many aspects, the soldier and the spy reacted differently in dealing with their feelings, facing each other while pretending everything was just fine. He was stiff, laconic, and she seemed almost as if everything was just for fun.

Staring at him with a half-smile, Natasha replied, "I'm counting on it." She peered at him for a while before handing him a file, "That thing you asked for. I called a few favors from Kiev."

Steve took a deep breath. Bucky's file – the thing he did and didn't want to see with the same intensity. His troubled soul was about to be dragged through an ocean of guilt and worry, but her voice brought him back.

"Would you do me a favor? Call that nurse?"

Since they had been partnered together, this had been part of their game – she would try to set him up with someone, and he would pretend to like her help. Half smiling and half serious, he replied, "She's not a nurse."

"And you're not a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent."

The reality was that he took all her matchmaking as a demonstration of some kind of affection for him. He smiled, trying to look interested, "What's her name again?"

"Sharon." Natasha paused, averting her eyes, and Steve couldn't help but notice a slight tremor in her voice as she continued, "She is nice."

Thousands of things were passing through his mind, but he couldn't utter a word. He did his best to smile back to her, but noticing that her eyes were somewhat moistened, he got apprehensive. In the field, he was the consummate leader. Everywhere else, she was the one holding all the cards. He had no idea about what to do, and waited, motionless, for her lead. They stared at each other for a brief moment and then she leaned in to kiss his cheek. The bitter-sweetness of that act hit him hard – it was a goodbye kiss. With his heart sinking, he stood there as she walked away.

But then, she stopped, saying, "Be careful, Steve."

When she turned back, the delicate sun rays seeping through the leaves of the trees lit her, revealing her completely unmasked face – she was stunning. This time wasn't just a moment of weakness. There she was, willingly open, showing herself to him. The real Natasha she fought so hard to conceal inside her, but whose fire in her heart had captured his interest and invaded his dreams, since the very beginning. The one he hoped… desperately dreamed that would care about him… someday.

Motioning to the file, she warned, "You may not want to pull on that thread," and left, without looking back.

Concern, guilt, and many other feelings were coursing through him as he lowered his head and opened that Russian file. Loss. A deep loss was the strongest feeling of all. He lost Bucky and at that moment it felt like he was losing her too.

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The Falcon came close to the Captain and glanced at the file, saying, "You're going after him."

He needed to save Bucky, and the soldier replied full of sorrow. "You don't have to come with me."

"I know." Having lost a partner himself, Sam understood Steve's pain, and he wouldn't let him down. "When do we start?"

The Captain paused for a while, as if he wasn't sure about how to begin.

Right on target, the Falcon questioned, "Aren't you gonna ask your lady for help? She's Russian, right?"

It was the obvious course of action, and above all, it was what Steve secretly wanted to do. Still, surprised by the comment, he frowned, "My…? Natasha? No, no, she's not… We're just… We're partners."

Ever since the first time he had first seen them together, Sam had instantly suspected that their connection was more deep and intimate than they showed in public. He pushed, "Why?" Looking at her walking far away, he raised his thumbs together, making the touchdown sign, and teased, "Man, I wouldn't think twice…"

Immediately the Captain stepped around in front of the Falcon, blocking his view, "Hey!"

Realizing that maybe he went too far, Sam chuckled, "Sorry, Cap, it was a bad joke."

Completely uneasy with his impulsive reaction, the soldier shook his head.

Sensing his tension, the Falcon tried to make amends, "And I'm sorry for interrupting you two, that day, you know, back at my place."

Remembering that moment, Steve thought about how vulnerable she was, and so real, with the same unmasked eyes she showed him today.

"Sam, you have nothing to apologize for. You gave us shelter," and pausing for a while, the soldier replied melancholically, "You didn't interrupt anything."

"She's amazing, Cap. What's the problem?"

"Yeah. She is. But seriously, we are just friends," Steve added quite embarrassed, "She was actually trying to find me a date."

"Do _you_ need any help?" The Falcon couldn't sound more incredulous.

This time, the soldier simpered, "No, it's not that. I mean, she's not interested."

"Aren't you?" Remembering their talk at the VA, Sam insisted, "Wouldn't _she_ make you happy?"

_Yes_. The thought hit Steve's heart harder than thousand punches. Taking a deep breath, he gave the standard answer, "We're partners, and it wouldn't be appropriate."

The signs of psychological denial were unmistakable and Sam needed to help his partner. He insisted, "Cap… There's no more S.H.I.E.L.D.. What are you waiting for?"

"I have a job to do…" Another sad realization hit the soldier – it was the second time that her world had collapsed too, like it was for him. "She has her own search, and she's not…"

"Because she's trying to set you up with other women? 21st century dating advice, women are masters at the art of misdirection. They say _no_ when they mean _yes_."

Completely confused, Steve was also hopeful. Natasha wasn't like any other woman he met in his whole life, but still… "I'm not sure about that. The women I've met so far have been pretty straightforward. Aggressive. They're not afraid to take what they want."

"What do you expect? They want to go for a ride with Captain America; it's the superhero everybody sees."

_But not her_. That's what attracted him to her at the first place – she always saw Steve Rogers. The soldier looked down pensively. "Natasha isn't…"

Finally, Sam hit the main point. "Don't you have feelings for her?"

_Since the first day… _The Captain couldn't answer or face his newest partner. He couldn't lie either, but those were things he couldn't even admit to himself.

Patting the soldier's shoulder, the Falcon reassured, "Steve, when it's for real, everybody hides. You are afraid to get hurt, just like her."

"You don't know her, Sam. She's not afraid of anything."

"You didn't see her looking for you after the battle, or at the hospital when they were operating on you. Do you know how many bullets you took?" The smile on Falcon's face was full of compassion, "She cares about you, man, for real."

After fighting Bucky and falling from the Helicarrier, Steve didn't remember anything. Memories of the emotional Natasha at the hospital after Fury's accident came to his mind, along with her teary green eyes…

The Captain was lost. He knew that she was far from the cold person the spy was supposed to be, but to let himself believe in Sam's words… was too terrifying.

"You know, Cap, I just figured something about you. You stink at a problem you can't solve with your fists."

Like everybody else, in the matters of the heart, Steve was just human. He sighed regretfully, "She left."

"Go chase her, running man." Sam pushed, "You won't forgive yourself if you don't try."

The super soldier froze. Could he cross that one line?

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**Ref**: Comics: _Captain America and the Falcon_ #7 "_Lost in Translation_" [Sam to Steve] You know, I just figured something about you. You stink at a problem you can't solve with your fists.

**Author's note**: Since _Captain America: The Winter Soldier _premiered, I've been going to the theaters, watching it again and again. I can't get enough! Having watching all Marvel's movies and _The Nanny Diaries_ (which features Chris and Scarlet as the romantic couple), I fell in love with Steve & Natasha together, after their interviews at Comic-Con 2013. This is an alternative beginning for my _Chris Crush_ series, if I had started it after seeing the new movie.

Thanks to my dear friend Lovedrr. His words are an inspiration!

Remember, for a writer, feedback is gold, and your opinion always matters. I appreciate anything and everything you want to say. So, please feel free to ask me anything and forgive any English mistake, my 1st language is Portuguese. Spanish comments are welcome too!

I hope you enjoy!

xxoo Mari


	2. Who Do You Want Me To Be?

**Disclaimers**: All rights to Marvel. Characters, lines & context from Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), Animation, TV series, Cartoons & Comics.

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**Who Do You Want Me To Be?**

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Natasha Romanoff's official excuse to be there was to give the Winter Soldier's file to Steve Rogers. But as soon as her mask started to fall down, and she couldn't find a way to put it back on, she knew she had to run away, quickly. Steve had seen her weak and vulnerable like no one before. She couldn't hide from him, not anymore. Yet, she didn't know how to deal with it… With him. He was the most trustful person in the world, but she never learned how to fully trust anyone.

They smiled to each other with the complicity of old friends and she couldn't resist. Pulling him to her slowly, she gave him a tender kiss on the cheek. _Goodbye_, she thought, walking away before saying, "Be careful, Steve." _Be safe, don't die_.

She left without looking back, pretending to be perfectly fine as ever. After she was a safe distance away, a silent teardrop fell from her face – she didn't know where to hide. The thing about cemeteries, however, was that there were tears everywhere, and no one would really pay attention to hers. There was a leafy tree in front of her, and its branches looked as inviting as a warm embrace. Leaning there, she summoned her last strength to hold back the emotions that were flooding her heart.

_What's wrong with me?_

Thinking back, she remembered her tears for Fury. In the shadowed world in which they used to live, both spies knew they could rely on each other, in their twisted idea of family – the orphan redhead didn't remember having one before.

Other than her ex-husband, Alexi Shostakov, Natalia Romanova had never missed anyone. The acclaimed Soviet hero had been her first everything and she had cried for him. It was an arranged married, a fake relationship that ended with his staged dead. As planned by the Red Room, she had joined the secret K.G.B. academy to honor his death, becoming their one of their top operatives, the Black Widow. Shaped by deception, the young and inexperienced Natasha learned the first lesson, "_Love is for children_." That concept was strongly reinforced when she met him again, years later, as the Red Guardian – ironically, the Russian response for Captain America. Not only had Alexi tried to kill her, he had also mocked her feelings. "_A Russian woman is always ruled by her heart. Even one who hides her heart beneath a sheath of ice_."

It was a cruel attempt to throw her off her game, she knew all the tricks, but the answer she gave to him was the thing ripping her apart now. "_I hide nothing. My heart died long ago_."

Yes it did, so why was she feeling so miserable? Why was it so hard to fight back tears?

Once again, Natasha's world had changed completely. S.H.I.E.L.D. ended, probably like the K.G.B., officially, but it would continue with another name, in another place. As Fury said, HYDRA still lived and they needed to keep fighting. Even so, especially after the exposition before the Senate, she was too compromised to simply follow her old mentor. "_You need us_", the Black Widow dared the authorities – they were Avengers after all. But without her covers, the spy didn't know who she was, or where she belonged.

She wasn't afraid to start over. Far from it. "_Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that. I am Russian. Or I was_." If there was a word to define Natasha, it was adaptability. She could deal with any situation, improvise, and still come out on top.

_What am I scared of?_

Not of dying… The last time the spy had truly feared death was when Hulk chased her down on the Helicarrier. That was beyond terrifying. Not when the Winter Soldier shot her – that was just part of her daily job. However, when they were hit by that missile at Zola's lab, there was an unexpected unbearable fear that Steve could die too… But why?

_Loneliness_… That didn't make any sense… any sense at all.

All her life Natasha had been alone. Even during the illusion of her marriage, where the couple didn't have any real connection. After becoming officially a widow, her three choices of lovers couldn't have been more damaged. While still a trainee at the Red Room, she had a brief affair with Yakov, a brainwashed assassin that was her instructor. During the time that she ran away from Russia, and was working as a freelance agent, she partnered with the Daredevil and they ended up living together, but his destructive behavior and womanizer habits made her end the relationship. Her last flawed experience was with a member of a team she led on the West Coast, called Hercules, another notorious ladies man. That wasn't a coincidence, but her easy way to keep detached – safe – in a frail attempt to fulfill the basic needs of intimacy. Because of this, the spy ended up learning another tough lesson – not to mix business with pleasure.

She had been forced to work back with the Red Room, when she had crossed paths with Clint Barton. He had saved her life, offering her a chance to work for S.H.I.E.L.D., and they had became friends. "_I owe him a debt_." Although the spies worked very well together, Hawkeye and the Black Widow were the very best alone.

That was all truth until Steve Rogers was thawed and led the Avengers to save the world. Suddenly, the Captain had joined S.H.I.E.L.D. and Fury paired the soldier and the spy together. The world's most distant loner had the perfect man in her life. The scariest part was that she enjoyed it… him.

For the first time in her life, she didn't want to be alone.

Unfortunately, without the agency, they weren't partners anymore… and she sadly realized she had lost him. Even worse, will all her secrets out, her past completely exposed, she was sure he wouldn't want to be close to her. Natasha was anything but nice… she wasn't a nice woman… especially in the sense of what Steve needed… or deserved. The irony was that the Black Widow was tired of lies, but she didn't know how to be real… like Captain America.

Since they first met, Steve had been a mystery Natasha couldn't decipher. He was the first straight man who seemed immune to her charms, and he respected her as a woman. But what surprised her was that he would always look directly into her eyes, never a millimeter below. Not once had a man failed to check her out before. Natasha could label all men, except Steve Rogers – he defied definition and, for that reason, intrigued her. While everybody fancied the superhero, she tried to understand the man from the past – a much more complex fish-out-of-water than she was when she came from Russia.

In these past two years, they established a well-oiled working relationship that turned into a more intimate friendship.

The man was simply too good to be true, a walking cliché, except that everything he did was true and real. Deep inside, she found him irresistible, especially by everything he stood for – goodness, honesty, and morality. Everything she wasn't. As a moth attracted to the flame, Natasha knew that she would burn herself if she got too close to Steve's bright light. He was completely off-limits. And that's why she had been throwing him to other women and why she was running from him right now.

She couldn't be this close to anyone. Everything about the Black Widow was classified – anything more intimate with her would be undisclosed. Any man interesting enough to earn her attention, to be captured by her web, didn't survive to tell the story – that was the legend created around her, her curse. Hiding behind this reputation, she had been safe, but absolutely lonely. This was a cover she never intend to blow… until Steve. She resisted the temptation until she couldn't take it anymore…

_I kissed him_.

In the middle of the chaos and adrenaline rush, she had taken her chance. Natasha couldn't miss that opportunity. Captain America was too recognizable to ever go undercover. Beneath the dorky disguise he was still, as the clerk at the computer store in the mall attested, "_A specimen._" So she found a perfectly valid excuse, and tried to make it look like as meaningless as possible. She could lie about anything anywhere, and it had been easy to convince him, but she couldn't deny it – she had kissed him for real, restrained, yes, but enough to fulfill her most secret dreams. As she closed her eyes, she remembered the softness of his lips, inviting, tempting her to deepen the kiss. He had been so warm.

Although he had kissed her back – yes he did, and that made her need to run even more urgent – he wasn't in the kiss like she was… like she wanted him to be. It would be so much easier if it was because of inexperience. So simple. The perfect man should be inaccessible, right? _Damn, woman, when did you become so naive_? She tried to fool herself, but he said it wasn't his first kiss since 1945, and she knew he wasn't lying.

_So… Who had he kissed before? Where? For how long?_

She filled her mind with scenarios, thinking about his file and what he did after being thawed and before the Avengers. The time he had between… The time when they weren't partners… Friends. That was the best way to keep her mind busy, while avoiding the simple question she couldn't bear to ask herself.

_Why didn't he kiss me, the way I wanted?_

The answer was so painfully obvious… By trying to set him up with a date, Natasha had been building up a profile of Steve's ideal woman, and she didn't fill any of the requirements. None of her attempts to tease him got the reaction she had wanted, dreamed… Underneath his polite demeanor, he seemed uninterested.

_He didn't kiss me, because he doesn't want me. He doesn't like me… How could he? I am everything that's bad. A liar, a disguise within a disguise._

Her offer had almost been a plea, _"Who do you want me to be?"_

But his answer had thrown her hopes away, _"How about a friend?"_

For once Natasha wished Steve was like any other man, who would take advantage of her at the first chance. Tears threatened to fall again as she remembered how open and needy she was back at Sam's place. Open… Well, she had been about to jump him if Sam hadn't come to offer breakfast or whatever. That why she needed to keep her distance, to flee as far as she could. Next to him, she almost didn't recognize herself, and the Black Widow couldn't be so unbalanced because of a… a man.

Her car was nearby. She just needed to avoid the crowd and she would be safe. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, mentally analyzing the path ahead of her. _Focus_.

When Natasha finally moved, her legs were shaking, and she stumbled. Before anything could happen, a strong hand grabbed her arm, supporting her. Her body started to quiver, she couldn't control it, because she recognized the strong, powerful grip. _Steve_.

He was the only one who was never afraid to touch her. Truly, he never even asked permission. Since the first time when he protected her with his shield and body during the battle of New York, he simply continued to save her, whenever it was needed, carrying her around, like when he picked her up to flee from Batroc's explosive on the Lemurian Star. Her heart had jumped when he threw her on the wall at the hospital. After the attack at the Army camp, she woke up realizing he had been carrying her in his arms, for miles, and he still refused to let her go. With his 40s upbringing, he had the perfect balance between the macho and the gentleman that no men today have – the answer to her most secret desires. But it was more than that, she thought. He called her Nat, and bossed her while none of the other agents even dared to talk to her. He was so used to her, that none of these things ever seemed to be an issue for him… but it was for her. No one ever had manhandled her that way, almost as if he owned her, and that was what scared her the most – she never did anything to stop him… she liked it.

"Nat, are you okay?"

Natasha couldn't bring herself to look at him and answer that simple question. All she wanted was to melt in his arms… and that's why she needed to disappear.

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**Ref**: Comics: Marvel Graphic Novel Vol 1 #61 "_The Coldest War_" (1990)- [Alexi Shostakov] A Russian woman is always ruled by her heart. Even one who hides her heart beneath a sheath of ice. [Natalia Romanova] I hide nothing. My heart died long ago.

**Ref**: Movies: _The Avengers_ (2012) – [Natasha Romanoff] Love is for children. I owe him a debt. (…) Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that. I am Russian. Or I was.

**Author's Note**: A special thanks to all reviews, PMs, favorites & follows. You are the best!

Thanks to Lovedrr's wise advice & precious help, this chapter was split into two. So, there is still one more is this love story! Thanks again, my friend, I couldn't have done it without you!

xxoo Mari


	3. The Best We Can Do Is To Start Over

**Disclaimers**: All rights to Marvel. Characters, lines & context from Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), Animation, TV series, Cartoons & Comics.

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**The Best We Can Do Is To Start Over**

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The Arlington National Cemetery wasn't too crowded that day. Even so, Steve Rogers couldn't run – he didn't want to attract too much attention or risk being recognized. He walked a little faster than usual and, in no time, he found Natasha Romanoff's car in the parking lot. His mind was in a whirlwind, and his heart thudded heavily in his chest. Thinking about his life in the past years, and in this present era, the soldier couldn't lie to himself – the spy had been the light in it, pushing him to keep going, and giving him hope. But she was a walking enigma and there were many lines he never dared to cross, many rules he couldn't bring himself to break… until now.

_"What makes you happy?" _The question that was pounding in his heart, with the answer he couldn't say out loud. _Natasha_. With her dry humor, and unpredictability, she was everything he wasn't… and yet, everything he desired. _She makes me alive_.

It was foolish to think that he needed someone else to make him admit his feelings for her. Chronologically 95 years old, Steve had lived through 29 – he wasn't inexperienced or naive. He was definitely not dead. But Natasha was… special. Yes, too special. Sam Wilson was absolutely right. The soldier wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't try to talk to her – he needed to know for sure. Still, the intrepid superhero was terrified. It was easier to face an army of out space than that petite redhead.

He stood by her car, waiting… hoping… But once she didn't appear, he got worried. _Where is she? _

Walking back, he surveyed the area looking for her bright red hair and was relieved when he spotted it, just behind a tree not too far from there. Getting close, he slowed down… uncertain. _What am I doing? What am I gonna say? She's gonna kick my ass so fast_… At that moment, realizing that she was crying, he got completely alarmed. As had happened many times before, Natasha always had a way of turning his world upside down – the man-with-a-plan was at a loss as to what to do.

But then she started to move, a little unsteadily, and instantly his protective instincts took charge. Quickly he was by her side, gently grabbing her arm to stop her from falling, "Nat, are you okay?"

Steve's voice was firm and yet, worried – absolutely comforting like his strong grip on her arm. Natasha couldn't look at him, not like this, but it was like he knew it. Pulling her close to him, he held her carefully, and she laid her head on his toned warm chest. He treated her with the same attention he did after Maria Hill rescued them, when the spy had a gsw to the shoulder. She stayed there for a while, resting in the comfort of his arms. It was too tempting to be this relaxed, but also extremely dangerous – she tensed and straightened up, pulling away from him.

Noticing her uneasiness, he tried kindly, "When I woke up, my whole world was gone." He said reassuringly. "This time will be easier. We will find our place. We're partners after all, right?" Tentatively, he gave her a soft smile, but she couldn't bring herself to reply.

"You're not alone, Nat. I know how you feel."

When she finally looked back to him, her green eyes were blank – like the Russian winter, she had closed herself in an implacable coldness. Her voice was nothing but a murmur, "You don't know me, Rogers. Not everything was in my file." Turning away, she looked at the graves before continuing bluntly, "There are probably people here… that I killed."

The harshness in her words, however, didn't match the fragility in her posture. Recognizing her defense mechanism, he decided he wouldn't let her push him away, not this time. Smoothly, he stood behind her, close enough for them to feel the heat radiating from each other's bodies, and said melancholically, "I met a lot of soldiers that are buried here… Too many died under my command."

"It's not the same as killing them." Her voice was emotionless, under control, but she couldn't fool the super soldier's enhanced senses – underneath her seemly impenetrable sheath of ice, her blood was boiling because of their proximity, and her heart was pounding.

"No. But if we go to any war cemetery in Germany, it will be." The somber pain in his voice, was an absolute contrast to the warmth of his body. He placed his hand softly on her arm pulling her to him, whispering, "We are not so different."

Surprised, Natasha looked at Steve. That was a side of the Captain that she hadn't thought about – the hero for some, but the foe for others. And he was there, exposing himself to her, in an unexpected show of trust – something she wasn't used to receiving. She found herself speechless as he took her hand, leading her to the parking area. "Let's get out of here." He stood by his motorcycle and asked, "We should get something to eat?"

It was more a statement than an invitation, but somehow she couldn't say no. "My car…"

"Don't worry, we'll pick it up later."

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It was a balmy spring afternoon, just perfect for a motorcycle ride.

Too many emotions were crowding her heart, but she had to control her hands, while having her arms wrapped around him. He was an excellent driver, ever the gentleman, so there were no brusque movements that could force her to grab him more firmly… unfortunately.

He took her to a cozy cafe, not so far from there. After shaking hands with a man behind the counter, Steve led Natasha through a stairway, up to a private balcony, surrounded by flowers and plants, overlooking a park. There was a two-seater with a small coffee table, in a very intimate atmosphere.

Sheepishly, he smiled, "I always come here when I visit Arlington. The owner's grandfather fought with me."

Too easily recognizable, Captain America was used to finding WWII veterans and their families everywhere. It had never ceased to amuse Natasha how Steve would always be attentive and kind towards them. The perfect hero looked as if he had been born to public office. Sitting by her side, however, he seemed almost uneasy and the super spy didn't have a clue as to why.

"No one will bother us here." He explained shyly, offering her the menu, "What are you up for?"

It was past noon and neither of them had had lunch yet, so she ordered a grilled salmon salad, and he picked a roast beef sandwich. Between a few beers and lots of food, he told her a bunch of funny war stories, and ended up remembering the pranks he and Bucky used to play on each other.

After the last few chaotic days, this was a great change of mood. Reclining on the comfortable couch, with her feet propped on a bench, she found herself relaxed, admiring how young he looked as he remembered his childhood friend. Natasha noticed how much she enjoyed his company… Instantly, she fell back to her alert status, and tried to read him, "You need my help to find Barnes."

Steve stopped, seemingly uncomfortable with the insinuation, "No. Well, yes, I do. But that's not… I wouldn't…"

"What do you want, Rogers?"

_You_. He averted his eyes quickly, afraid that she could read the answer stamped in his face.

But once she had entered into her interrogatory mood, there was no coming back. "Why are we here?"

Honesty, always his best choice. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"Where are you going to stay? Is it safe?"

"You have got to be kidding me."

Genuinely concerned, he continued, "With your past exposed, aren't you afraid that enemies would come after you?"

"If you read it carefully, you should have seen that they will run _from_ me." In her full Black Widow voice, she added, "And so should you."

He sighed disappointed, "Nat, I just want to help."

Narrowing her eyes, she replied sharply, "I don't need anything from you, Rogers."

The direct rejection hit him hard, and there was one explanation he couldn't avoid, not anymore. "I know." He straightened up, and started to get ready to leave. "I got it, okay? I know I'm not him. I left him a message but he didn't call me back."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Looking down he tried to justify himself, "Barton. I called him… for you."

She wasn't expecting his defeated reaction, much less _this _answer, and asked puzzled, "Why?"

Her confusion caught him off guard, and he replied ashamed, "You two are… He's your…"

"Why are you talking about Clint?"

A question so simple that it made him confess a truth hidden deep in his heart. "Because you wear his necklace, the arrow." Drinking his beer, he looked away, feeling like the silliest man on Earth.

"What?" She put her hand on her neck, but there wasn't anything there, "How do you know? Why do you care?"

_Because I notice everything about you_. Rubbing the back of his neck he searched for an escape, but there was none, and he replied disconcertedly, "I… I saw it."

She seized him up, as if reading an open book, and gave him the same look from the hospital, "You're still a terrible liar."

He drew a sharp breath, but couldn't bring himself to answer.

Pausing, she explained, "Clint gave it to me, a long time ago. What does it have to do with anything?"

"It's a meaningful gift, isn't it?" There was an extra coldness in his voice.

Amused, she replied, "He saved my life. We're friends. Not that this is any of your business."

The tension in his body was almost as if he was getting ready to battle, and he turned to her, looking completely incredulous, "A woman doesn't wear a man's symbol unless…"

But she cut him off, "I wear anything I want. And as long as it matches with my outfit…"

The signs were too clear for Natasha to ignore, although the truth they unveiled was everything she needed to avoid. Steve Rogers had turned into a jealous common man. Suddenly, his respectful distance made all the sense in the world. Without realizing, she smiled mischievously, "So you thought I was with Clint…"

"I'm sorry, I made a wrong assumption." He grabbed his beer and drank it all.

She bursted into laughter, "That's why I got a message from him this morning, asking if I was dying or drunk."

Once again, her mockery drove him crazy. Completely past hiding, he sounded nothing but accusatory, "But he obviously must have some kind of interest, otherwise he wouldn't give it to you…"

Shaking her head in disbelief, she said, "It's a token. The arrow means protection, and direction. He wants me to find my safe path, like he did." Steve blinked puzzled, and she explained, "He's with Bobbi Morse. You know, the hot blonde, Agent 19? They're married."

Steve stared at her, completely shocked, "Married? I… I didn't know… I thought…"

"Just a few people know it. It's a dangerous business we work in. It's better to keep our private lives, private." She said, raising an eyebrow.

Her answer caused him all sorts of mixed feelings. He wasn't betraying his friend and team-member, and that was more than a relief. Thinking back, it became clear that the archer's behavior towards the spy was always of a protector, not a lover. It meant that the soldier had read all the signs wrongly… _What else I'm missing? _Not sure about what he wanted to hear, he asked, "Are you secretly married too? Anyone special?" Because if it wasn't for Clint, and there was no one else, the simple truth was that she wasn't interested in him.

"Me?" She chuckled, "No way."

Side by side, they finished their drinks, thinking about everything that had happened, and its powerful meaning. After an awkward silence, she questioned, "But why are you suddenly interested in my personal life?"

"Why are you always trying to set me up with someone?" His answer was harsh, but his voice was back to his normal gentle tone.

Tilting her head, she gave up, "Fair enough."

He shrugged his shoulders, "That's not an answer."

"Neither was yours."

After a few moments, he took a deep breath and started, "I was just thinking… I know, I'm your charity-friend, you want to fix me."

Frowning, she replied, "I don't want to fix you."

"Well, that kinda sounds like it was what you were doing." He gave her a half smile.

Remembering their talk in that stolen car, she smirked, "What do you want, Rogers?"

That was it. Steve knew there was no turning back. He couldn't hide or flee anymore. Looking straight to her, he said, "I want… to ask you out."

The one answer Natasha could've never anticipated, yet, now that she heard it, she knew it was the one she so secretly desired. She gasped, "What?"

He was completely exposed, "I would've asked a long time ago, but… anyway. Do you… ?"

Like in the car, she wasn't detached but somewhat defeated, and gave him the same answer, "Wrong business again."

Watching her closely, he pushed, "Okay, I understand you're not interested…"

Her distant words didn't match the plea in her stunning eyes. "You don't want to be around me, Steve."

Realization hit him – she wasn't rejecting him but herself. His posture changed completely, and he leaned a little, putting his arm on the couch, behind her. He smiled, "You don't know what I want, Natasha."

Speechless, she looked down.

Peggy's words came to his mind, "_The world has changed and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best, and sometimes the best we can do is to start over_." He continued, "Remember the woman in that photo you asked about? Her name is Margaret Carter and she's the only friend I have left. She helped Howard Stark to create S.H.I.E.L.D., but now… she has Alzheimer's."

"I'm sorry, Steve. Was she your girlfriend?"

"No… no. That's the thing, we didn't have a chance. We only shared one kiss."

It was Natasha's turn to be flooded by mixed emotions.

As if on cue, Steve took her hand, "I can't let that story repeat, not with you, Nat."

Her lips parted in an open invitation, but she managed to reply, "You don't want me."

His smile was contagious and his eyes shined, "Since that first day on the Helicarrier… I've never wanted anyone like I want you." He didn't miss the breach in her ice armor and dove in, "I want more than one kiss, Nat."

Natasha was lost. "But… you didn't kiss me back…"

Confused, he frowned. "I did. And you said it was bad."

"I mean… You didn't want to kiss… me."

His answer was so simply obvious that it hit her like a bullet. "Because it wasn't for real." He shook his head no, "It was a scam. You didn't feel anything… did you?" There was a mix of hope and fear in his voice.

Natasha was completely stunned. He was truly the most honest and real man in the entire universe.

And then Steve got it. _When it's for real, everybody is afraid to get hurt_.

Before she could think, his hand slid firm around her back, drawing her to him, while his other raised her chin gently. "Nat, I always wanted to kiss you."

He was too close… There were uncountable ways for her to escape, if only her body hadn't betrayed her so quickly, melting completely in his strong arms. All her internal alarms were screaming. She was fighting to keep her brain functioning until… leaning a little closer, he kissed her forehead, softly, then her left temple, making any thoughts disappear. She let herself be carried away by the tenderness of his lips traveling to her cheek, and the warmness of his breath upon her ear.

He whispered, "But I wanted it to be for real." His deep blue eyes searched her beautiful green ones, asking permission.

The ice fortress crumbled – she had no words, no more lies to tell, not the slightest desire to hide or flee. To top it all off, there was an unknown feeling that she could only relate to the acceptance of the inevitability of defeat… except that it wasn't. Despite being completely exposed for the first time in her whole life, Natasha Romanoff was completely safe by being at the mercy of Steve Rogers.

She blinked in consent, and then… _he_ kissed her.

His lips were gentle, but firm, perfectly demanding and she responded avidly. Wrapping her arms around him, she savored the way his fingers danced through her silky hair, caressing her face. Grabbing the nape of her neck, he pulled her close and she tilted her head allowing him to deepen the kiss. Wanting to melt into him, she clung to his muscled body, relishing in the feeling of his arms possessively all around her. There was nothing uncomfortable in his touch or his kiss – no hesitation this time. He claimed her mouth with passion, stealing her breath and weakening her bones.

Their lungs were crying for air when he broke the kiss. Slightly panting, he rubbed his thumb on her lower lip, saying, "I wanted it to be special… like you." She lightened up, and he'd never seen her so beautiful. Smiling, he teased, "So, do I still need practice?"

He looked so cocky and irresistibly charming at the same time that she would have to kick his ass. Except that she didn't want to. "No…" She said, pulling him by his shirt, drawing him to her, "But I do."

Natasha's heart was alive.

The cold Winter had passed. It was time for Spring.

.

* * *

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**Author's note**: About the dynamic between Steve & Natasha at _Captain America: The Winter Soldier_, Scarlett Johansson said: _"The chemistry is there, which is important. Just because they're not romantically involved doesn't mean that they're not still attracted to each other as people. I like that the door is open a little bit."_

Well, I couldn't resist it, I had to open that door completely! I hope you had enjoyed reading as much as I did writing! If you like them as I do, I invite you to check my _Chris Crush_ series!

Writing is my therapy, my way to unwind from the stress of the real life. But the best thing of writing here is to make new friends. You are all amazing! To write this story, I had the invaluable help of my fellow Romanogers friend Lovedrr. (He is an amazing writer, check his stories!)

Many thanks to all readers. I appreciate every single review, PM, favorite & follow. I try to thank you all, through PMs, when it's available. Feel free to comment in English, Portuguese or Spanish!

I hope I made you smile… :)

xxoo Mari

*** Writing is a labor of love. Please, support our young writers, leave a review! ***


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